he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
