I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
