thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize