i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
