She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize