24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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