Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
