Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
