You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
