It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
