it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
