I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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