So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize