so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.