I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
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I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place