Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED