she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.