I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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