this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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