Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
