you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
