In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just had sex bonerless
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
