hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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