so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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