The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm at about main and main street
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow