when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
