I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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