After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize