I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
