the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
