what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This baby is an asshole
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
