He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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