Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Randomize
