the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
