I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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