with your own penis?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
