He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.