i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
