Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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(216): Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat. http://tfl.nu/4sne

Replies (8) Good night (1055) Bad night (1938)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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(775): Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :( http://tfl.nu/vkw0

Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (945)
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(513): View more from Ohio

he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.

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(513): he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps. http://tfl.nu/5rkl

Replies (24) Good night (2651) Bad night (1099)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?

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(860): Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be? http://tfl.nu/i247

Replies (10) Good night (6841) Bad night (716)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.

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(201): my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums. http://tfl.nu/0487

Replies (37) Good night (7567) Bad night (1712)
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(503): View more from Oregon

She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.

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(503): She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party. http://tfl.nu/vfln

Replies (46) Good night (852) Bad night (7250)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

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(919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo

Replies (7) Good night (3401) Bad night (1234)
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(850): View more from Florida

does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?

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(850): does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath? http://tfl.nu/la37

Replies (14) Good night (1390) Bad night (4151)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".

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(780): just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency". http://tfl.nu/5vs5

Replies (7) Good night (3317) Bad night (820)
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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp

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(410): just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp http://tfl.nu/2fc3

Replies (4) Good night (835) Bad night (1702)
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(406): View more from Montana

Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.

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(406): Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues. http://tfl.nu/jvdq

Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (1471)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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(919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2

Replies (12) Good night (6685) Bad night (960)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.

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(865): I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night. http://tfl.nu/z7o8

Replies (9) Good night (1156) Bad night (470)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.

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(506): I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow. http://tfl.nu/72sd

Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (936)
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(727): View more from Florida

If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?

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(727): If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student? http://tfl.nu/6ss9

Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (335)

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