Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

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  (585): This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat? http://tfl.nu/3sn0
  Replies (93) Good night (1188) Bad night (3377)
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  (858): View more from California

  this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.

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  (858): this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since. http://tfl.nu/ovf5
  Replies (8) Good night (4329) Bad night (1049)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"

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  (307): So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that" http://tfl.nu/5p37
  Replies (8) Good night (1202) Bad night (4475)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics

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  (513): i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics http://tfl.nu/sgxc
  Replies (9) Good night (4257) Bad night (1139)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

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  (319): Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again. http://tfl.nu/9aen
  Replies (10) Good night (3668) Bad night (1381)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.

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  (772): You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list. http://tfl.nu/hcyy
  Replies (9) Good night (3009) Bad night (1528)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.

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  (902): I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/kzf1
  Replies (5) Good night (2307) Bad night (760)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.

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  (610): One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings... (610): And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually. http://tfl.nu/lwux
  Replies (3) Good night (1477) Bad night (428)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.

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  (518): Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you. http://tfl.nu/bm50
  Replies (6) Good night (2062) Bad night (699)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.

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  (360): I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job. http://tfl.nu/8nby
  Replies (2) Good night (786) Bad night (351)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale

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  (978): It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale http://tfl.nu/xdvd
  Replies (8) Good night (1892) Bad night (423)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..

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  (641): Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough.. http://tfl.nu/n0x6
  Replies (11) Good night (436) Bad night (645)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

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  (306): Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift. http://tfl.nu/91xb
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (277)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.

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  (301): You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup. http://tfl.nu/bsru
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (207)
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  (760): View more from California

  People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with

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  (760): People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with http://tfl.nu/de51
  Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (215)

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