last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
