Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
