Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize