you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You left your phone here
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