Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
