If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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