i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
