i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
