I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
