I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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