just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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