i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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