I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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