don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
