Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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