Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
