What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just forgot I was standing up.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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