i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
