Pants 0. Shit 1.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
