I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
