your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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