fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize